I’ve been listening to a lot of Weezer lately. I don’t know why I say “lately,” as if it’s not something I do basically all the time, but I do know that it’s something you should do, too. I’m not writing this post to argue over how much better the band’s first two albums are than all of its other stuff, and I’m certainly not looking to debate which of Weezer’s songs is the best. (Clearly it’s “El Scorcho.” Don’t know it? Keep reading…)
In anticipation of Weezer’s ninth studio album, Everything Will Be Alright In The End, I’ve decided to compile a list of the best (read: my favorite) Weezer lyrics.
***Astute Weezer fans may notice that all of these lyrics/songs are off of either Weezer (The Blue Album) or Pinkerton. There’s a reason for that (see above).***
If I’m a dog, then you’re a bitch.
Easily the weakest track on what might be my favorite album of all time, “Butterfly” features just as much emotion as the rest of Pinkerton. This simple and silly line proves that Rivers’ passion doesn’t take away from his wit in his songwriting.
9. Tragic Girl
You’re a tragic girl
You lead a tragic life
I’m just meant to be
Your latest tragedy
Released on the deluxe version of Pinkerton, this hidden gem was almost forgotten according to Weezerpedia (yes, that’s a real thing because why wouldn’t it be?).
You’ve got the Beach Boys, and your firm’s got the Stones
But I know you won’t leave me alone
“Jamie” can be found on the deluxe version of The Blue Album, and it’s also a b-side to “Buddy Holly.” The first time I heard this track was on Weezer’s 2010 Memories Tour, during which the band played several b-sides, marking the first time Weezer had played “Jamie” live since 1996. The best part about this song is that it’s written for the band’s first lawyer.
Chill out baby, stay with me for a while
But that don’t mean I’ll get with you tonight
Similar to a female’s perspective, just because a guy is nice and friendly toward a girl doesn’t mean there will be “hooking up.” Rivers knows and understands that.
If everyone’s a little queer
Oh, can’t she be a little straight?
Have you ever had a crush on a lesbian? Rivers Cuomo has, as evidenced by the lyrics of “Pink Triangle.” (Side note: I would like to see Taylor Swift write her own version of this song about Matt Bomer.)
5. El Scorcho
Why you wanna go and do me like that?
Come down on the street and dance with me
This is how I feel basically whenever I’m interacting with a girl I like. These lyrics outline a simple plea but are part of a longer, more in-depth examination of a struggle with romantic feelings. Oh, Rivers. WHO HURT YOU??
You say, ‘It’s a good thing
That you float in the air
That way there’s no way
I will crush your pretty toenails into a thousand pieces.’
“Only In Dreams” may very well be Weezer’s masterpiece. This Blue Album track, and these lines especially, perfectly display Rivers’ knack for writing lyrics that are oddly specific yet universally applicable.
3. Tired Of Sex
Leading into the second verse of the song, this flawlessly-timed scream represents the level of emotion with which the entire Pinkerton album was written and performed. “Tired Of Sex” happens to be the first track on that album, which I can only assume was not a mistake.
2. El Scorcho
I’m a lot like you so please, hello, I’m here, I’m waiting
I think I’d be good for you and you’d be good for me
When you finally decide to talk to someone you like, what do you say? Do you confess your feelings? Do you wait for the other person to make a move? Or do you write songs about it and bury your head in the sand? Guess which one Rivers Cuomo does…
It was truly difficult to decide what my favorite (in other words, the best) Weezer lyric would be on this list. I think these first lines of “The Sweater Song” got the edge because I’ve actually considered getting these words tattooed on my body. Simple yet deep.
So, if you haven’t heard any of these songs already, do yourself a favor and give each of them a listen. And when it’s time, be sure to do the same with Weezer’s newest album, EWBAITE, set to be released on October 7th.