The Greatest Thing Ever to Happen in the History of Everything Ever

Okay, maybe not. But you clicked on the link, and that’s all that matters.

This is the mindset of a heavy majority of bloggers and writers. As long as they can get us to click on the link, everything else is inconsequential. Sites such as BuzzFeed, Flavorwire, and Cracked have mastered this manipulative art, coaxing millions of people to click on their usually worthless posts.

Most of these authors don’t care if we actually read their posts, as long as their number of clicks goes up. Now, this is not to generalize all bloggers; some truly care about their readers, and many prefer high quality readers to a high quantity. I would consider myself one of these writers (mostly because nobody reads my blog).

I would also like to explore how some bloggers and sites have the nerve to declare an article “the greatest thing ever.” I mean, that’s one hell of a proclamation. It is to assume that nothing in history has been better and nothing in the presumably infinite future will be better than this one thing right now. We can die happy after we’ve read whatever nonsense BuzzFeed has thrown together for us, whether it be a list of The 24 Greatest Things That Could Ever Possibly Happen To You* or The Most Epic _________ Ever.

Not everything that happens can be “the greatest thing ever.” Unless we live in a world in which everything is constantly improving, which we obviously don’t — journalism being the primary evidence for my argument, BuzzFeed being Exhibit A.

We don’t live in a world in which something that happens today is “the greatest thing ever” and then it is only surpassed tomorrow by something even better: a new “greatest thing ever.” Instead, we live in a world in which people fear uncertainty and want to be able to make affirmations based on what little proof they have.

As many know, I sort of specialize in making connections between concepts that are not usually related. While thinking about this topic, I ended up drawing an interesting parallel to the idea of marriage.

I am not for or against marriage, nor can I say with confidence that I will/won’t get married someday. I do plan on getting married and knocking up my wife and having a few kids and being a dope-ass dad. But I’ve always considered the concept of marriage a bit silly.

Or maybe “weird” is a better word to describe it.

Think about it. When we get married, we are proving our love and dedication to one another. We are showing our loyalty, and we are displaying our belief that we will be together until one of us dies. At the same time, we are committing to each other without knowing that we won’t find somebody later in life who is a more suitable match. We can’t know for sure who we are going to meet in the future and whether or not a stranger could be the love of our life.

So, does this devotion make marriage a beautiful thing? Does this dedication make it admirable? Or does the lack of understanding of why we believe in things like this make all who partake in it naive?

I’ve said before that love is “knowing that even though you haven’t experienced everything that’s out there, what you have (or had) still trumps anything life could throw at you.” But how could we know something like this? Perhaps this was me being naive.

I guess when it comes to marriage (and love, for that matter), it can either be a train wreck or it could actually be the greatest thing ever to happen in the history of everything ever. All that matters is that we click on the link.

*This is an actual BuzzFeed article, but I did not include a link because people might click on it and that would be counterproductive.


One thought on “The Greatest Thing Ever to Happen in the History of Everything Ever

  1. Pingback: This Is My Girlfriend. His Name is Greg. | Putting It Into Perspective

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